Warning: the following poem contains violent imagery and adult themes. Reader discretion is advised.
© Jane Bled 2016-2017
All Rights Reserved.
Skulking amongst his victims’ unmarked graves,
The henchman sneers away their pain.
When no one’s watching,
His candle-wax human mask slips off,
Tattooed with the filth
Of tawdry memories
And unholy deeds
At odd hours of the night,
The dirt scrubbed into his skin
Will never run clean,
No matter how often
He attempts to bathe away
The evidence of his guilt.
Stitching the seams of shattered pieces;
Fractioning stipends meant for growing old,
He eats pages of hate,
Spits out chewed-up rage,
True persona, encaged,
Enacted in an empty mask,
Feeding off needy knee-jerk reactions,
And pitiful distractions;
Swelling beneath his self-righteous hand —
The one he uses to choke up the bat —
Battered lives as bullseyes.
He comes hard,
Into parts never whole.
The cursed cycle continues;
He’s doomed to repeat it,
Of those who remain
And he won’t escape himself.
He won’t escape me.
Author’s Note: Though I’m (thankfully) not a serial killer, I intimately identify with the desire to kill oneself (in the case of this poem, to murder others who represent the parts of the self one loathes or doesn’t want to recognize); so I commit metaphorical murder and suicide over and over again, utilizing a variety of methods, in a safe, fictional setting. I always feels better afterwards, as the imaginary act of bodily destruction unleashes my deep-seated feelings of anger, frustration, and helplessness. I don’t fantasize about killing people in RL, so I don’t feel any guilt or remorse for creating horror stories, as they function as both therapy and emotional release.
Better out than in; depression won’t win.
If you or someone you know is having uncontrollable urges to commit suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (for US residents), check out the resources on International Association for Suicide Prevention; or inform a professional trained in crisis counseling. My loved ones and therapists have helped keep me from self-harm, but ultimately, I’m the person responsible for my own well-being.
Thank you for reading. Stay safe.