September 21, 2017

Poetry: “Goop”

I took my stand
In the backseat of Dad’s jalopy.
I told that boy
To don a glove
Before he popped me.
I demanded a ransom
To replace my Hanson CD–
The one he downloaded for free.

He claimed the band was lame, but
Taylor’s printed face
Bore a strange new stain.
He told me the spot came
From the Elmer’s glue
He’d tracked in with his shoe…
Or maybe it was Thai
Sizzling rice soup–
Just some random gob of goop;
And I never caught sight
Of the clean-up crew.
(He must have paid them to
Poop-scoop).

You know I don’t like to snoop,
But I found out that it’s true…
He favorite food: Fruit Loops.
Oops!

***

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GAG © Jane Bled (filter courtesy of Snapchat)


Snapchat’s the best. Makes me laugh every time! So apparently I have an unrefined sense of humor and that’s just the way it is. 😛

Thank you, teenage ex-boyfriend who publicly shamed me by leading everyone to believe I had just given you a hand job, even though I hadn’t laid one finger on you. The “goop” was actually fried egg from your noodle dish that had fallen off your fork and somehow gotten stuck in the grooves of my Adidas sandal. But, hey! Boys will be boys. *gags*