Warning: the following piece contains ideologically-sensitive material. Reader discretion is advised.

“Domesticity”
© Jane Bled 2016-2017
All Rights Reserved.

Other moms
Wear infinity scarves
Over argyle sweaters
And smile when their children
Misbehave,
As if to say,
“Kids will be kids.
My Tommy’s not to blame.
Grow a thicker skin.”

Other moms
Drop off their spawn
At Dawny’s daycare
And punch the time clock,
9-5;
Then come home
To serve their husbands
Crockpot dinners
Fresh off the “Foodie” Pinterest board
In dust-free dining rooms
That would do Ikea proud.

They’ve wiped the applesauce
Splatters —
Out of sight,
Out of mind —
So DH won’t lecture:
“This house should be spotless,
Dear.”
They wince when he stretches,
Fearing he’ll cock his fist back.

Other moms
Buy lacy underwear
That costs more than
A pack of diapers.
They shower every night
Before and after
Performing sitcom sex;
Keeping quiet
Behind closed doors,
Lest the munchkins
Wake.
Besides, there’s not much
Point to turning up the volume
When DH’s techniques
Warrant much ado
About nothing.

Other moms
Don’t stop smiling
Even when their grocery coupons
Are rejected
One day past
The expiration date
At a crowded cashier lane
In a trendy elite bodega.
Revealing displeasure
Would not please Jesus.
Surely,
The church
Would likewise disapprove.
Worst of all,
What if they were caught frowning?
Quel scandal!

Other moms speak
In sotto voce,
Criticizing
The cute clerk’s cleavage;
Feeling superior
When other customers agree:
“That slut is not a lady.
After all, no decent woman
Dares to put her dirty pillows
On display
To deliberately tempt the mensfolk.
And forget about breastfeeding —
That’s unnatural.”

Other moms rejoice
When the babysitter’s five minutes late.
They finally have a valid excuse
To wield their excecutive power:
“You’re fired!”
They congratulate themselves
On side-skirting a monetary disaster,
Since they can’t trust a procrastinator.
Bonus: now there’s no need to worry about
DH’s wandering eye!
They count their unspent money,
And their blessings;
Reminding themselves
Of how lucky they are.

After all,
They have it all,
Don’t we?

***

Allthewayhome

Keeping up appearances © Jane Bled