Warning: the following poem contains strong language, sexual situations, and ideologically-sensitive material. Reader discretion is advised.

Nuh-uh, baby,
I don’t wanna see that
You creepin’ up behind me
Like a slinky-dinky
Meerkat
Keep your claws retracted
Kinky fetish plays the soundtrack
Gives you somethin’ spankin’ new
To ear-leer at
King Lear
*record scratch*

Coffee klatch
Gutter traps actin’
Real rambunctious
Ratchet
Throw a wrench in the racket
Toss your girl some bloody action
You know you want to slap
The happity-crappity
Out of that
Happy-to-slack, scrappy sap

Just tell your boss
You left something in the trunk
Out back
Or maybe you need a quick(ie) break
To play a game of naked
Hacky sack
Unload a couple g’s from your stack
Black gold stash
Do I even gotta ask
Why you popped that cap
In his unassuming ass?
Puff, puff,
Pass
Damn bruh
Blunt’s already cashed

No worries, Daddy Mack
Got Playboy Bunnies
In the shack
Next to the tennis rack
We stack rocks in lines
Coca-Cola
Crack–
Your knuckles
Flex the trap
Back-to-school
Camaraderie
Runs the fabled factory

Hallelujah, Brother!
Love the sinner
Hate the sin
Goddamnit, Father!
Where the hell’s the fockin’ gin?

Red Rover, Red Rover
Send Hangover over
And tuck him into bed
(Don’t put the pillow over his head)
Bear no cross
Sleep it off
Forget those words he never said
‘Give us this day
Our daily bread’

Skip the pledge
Back away
From the ledge
Live your life
On the edge
Recognize privilege
Don’t expire yet
Keep it up, no doubt
Perspire, respire
In, out, in, out

That’s what she said.

***

“Agnostics”
© Jane Bled 2016-2018
All Rights Reserved.
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Universe in me © Jane Bled