February 23, 2018

Poetry: “Lasso”

Warning: the following poem contains strong language and sexual imagery. Reader discretion is advised.


May I present
Mama’s mop
She’s been through a lot

Pregnant with secrets
None left to sell
When tabloids query
To bloat their
Loaded gossip
Junk food spread
“Liza, do tell—who puts the
Spring in your step?”
I’ll volunteer
Plausible deniability
On your guilty-smile behalf
Acting the part of your beloved other half
As long as you advance the commission
On my property listing
Built on the foundation
Of HIS capital letters
Paid under the table
In cold hard
Tuck in
To the tune of
Hands off
My handle
Heigl never
Stood a chance
Against that fucking vandal

Flick my click
Like you’re flicking the ashes
Of the pastime passion
Undressing the bratwurst, like
Damn, honey, should I put it
In her mouth first
Or should we skip straight to the
Nonvirginal verse
The alternate version
Hardcore perversion
Like when you gotta pee
And it’s urgent
So you sprinkle it on
Her backside first
No deterrent
Calling out the cur in
NC-17 curses
Fuck-me pumps thumping
Rhythmically ‘gainst the bump
Nose dripping
On the grind
Cookie’s cockblocking
Just to get a rise
High red tide
Viral film reel
Real sunrise
Cop a feel and
Retain the element
Of surprise
Strident superpowered thighs
Engineered to ride the bull rider
Buck the Bronco
Until he’s all out of fight
Too tired to maintain
The thinning guise
Of knowing how to lasso
This cowgirl’s pride
Thinking he can teach her
How to rope a gibe
Jive-fingers push it in
To overdrive

Let’s chew the fat
How many dye-jobs does it take
Per watt—
(Energy spent
By illuming a load-shot lamp)
When can we properly screw
Mary’s lamb–
Me in ewe?


© Jane Bled 2018
All Rights Reserved.

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